Tattoo advice from a therapist
Not that I have a rapt audience of thousands, but to bring anyone who doesn’t know me in “real life” into the loop as to why I have any grounds writing about this subject -- my partner is a tattooer of over 20 years, many of our friends and acquaintances are also tattooers, and I personally have been getting tattooed since 2004. Absolutely no, this does not make me the end all be all expert. Absolutely no, I am not right all the time. Absolutely no, this is not a definitive list. But I get asked questions on the topic of tattoos and I’ve been thinking about compiling this list for some time. I hope it is helpful to someone!
1. Do your research on the shop and artist.
I have gotten many of my tattoos “on the fly.” I am a big fan of choosing from an artist’s flash (sometimes drawn for a specific event) when I arrive at the shop. It’s not for everyone, I admit. But I have done a bit of Googling or talking to friends before I arrive and I’ve most certainly checked out the artist’s online portfolio. So it’s not a complete cold call. If you have something specific in mind, this is even more integral. For custom work, look at the portfolio and determine the tattoo artist enjoys and is skilled at the style of tattoo you desire. If they don’t have any black and gray portraiture posted in their online portfolio, they probably don’t enjoy or excel at doing that kind of tattoo. Some artists will tell you that if you ask — “I don’t do X, Y, Z styles, but so-and-so is really great” — and some will hobble through a style that isn’t really their forte because they’ve gotta pay bills just like all of us.
It’s just like how because I technically can treat a particular issue since I’m licensed, it doesn’t mean that I am qualified, excel at it, or specialize in it. Look for someone who specializes in what you want!
2. Let your artist draw your design.
Put down the internet print-out image of someone else’s tattoo and back away slowly. Or, at the very least, accept that the print-out is referential material and not the exact tattoo that you will have on your body.
All tattooers worth their salt will be able to design something custom for you — and besides, another artist designed that tattoo you printed out for someone else. Flash has been a part of tattoo culture for decades, but copying custom work 100% and/or without permission is similar to plagiarizing. Why get something copied when you can get something all your own? Some artists will refuse to copy-paste a design, but I would like to encourage all us customers out there to exercise some trust in our artists’ skills and some confidence to rock our own designs. Of course reference the style, the subject, the placement, or the coloring of other work out there. But that’s the difference between a copy and a reference, isn’t it? Be aware of that line, try not to cross it, and find an artist who can do this with you. If your artist can’t draw? See #1 and #4.
3. Don’t feel comfortable? Give up your deposit and leave.
Too often I hear stories, from AFAB people in particular, about folks who felt uncomfortable, pressured, or downright bullied during their tattoo consultation or application. To this I say: lose your deposit and walk out of there. You are the customer, you are paying for a service, and you deserve a positive (or at least neutral) experience. No, I am not best friends with every person who has put a tattoo on my body. They aren’t all going to be earth-shattering, connective experiences, and you shouldn’t expect them to be. BUT — and this is a big-ol’ “but” — you deserve to be treated like a human being and you do not deserve to feel pressured, stupid, small, ignored, or scared. There is always another shop and another artist who will treat you better and provide the same quality tattoo. You will like your tattoo better if you have a good experience.
If you don’t have the fortitude to walk out of a tattoo studio minus a deposit but with integrity intact, then I do not recommend you walk into one.
4. Bear in mind that a portfolio is what the artist thinks is their best work.
So if it’s iffy or just ok or you’re not totally sold, do like the Talking Heads and “run run run away.” That’s why #1 is so important. You need to see the person’s work, and if you’re not sure, there are other artists whose work you will be into. I promise.
5. This is not an emotional journey for the artist every single time.
No matter what they showed you on the reality TV show, this is the artist’s job. Do you feel emotionally moved by your job all the time? When I served coffee for a living, yes, some days I had the great joy of connecting on an emotional level with my customers. But not every day, and not every customer. I still try to serve all of them well and the same goes for good tattoo artists. It’s cool if you have an emotional connection to the subject matter of your tattoo, but don’t expect the artist to feel as strongly as you do, and have realistic expectations about your experience.
6. Yes, it hurts.
The end. Pain is subjective. No one can tell you how much it will hurt you. You won’t know until you know. If you’re worried about it, you can always do some research into breathwork and meditation for pain or a numbing cream. It’s also completely ok to go through life without a tattoo. That is also an option.
7. Take your gosh darn time.
Laser really hurts, y’all. Most agree that laser sessions hurt worse than the original tattoo application. And it’s a process. Any tattoo you allow to be put on your body will take multiple sessions and healing time to remove. Even then it is sometimes not possible to entirely remove a tattoo so that your naked skin returns. Make sure that you are sure, and if you’re under 25, please for all things holy wait until you’re older to tattoo your neck, hands, or head. It’s not a race and while I am definitely a proponent of facial and hand tattoos (no, really, I love them), I am a still bigger proponent of people being happy with their bodies and feeling comfortable with their decisions. I want you to be delighted with your body when we are seventy and covered in wrinkly-ass tattoos! So let’s both agree to chill out, take our time, consider our decisions, and get together in our bikinis/trunks for cliff-jumping when we’re old heads.
