Darling, darling, you should have been there
Hello again from The Gloom Tribune, a griefy newsletter that highlights events, support, education, links to articles, art projects, short writings, and whatever we collectively dream up — all of a grief-y nature. Grievers and grief workers alike know that the grief umbrella is … large. Abundant. And so I hope the depth and breadth of what I include here will also feel expansive and inclusive. Comfortable in its all-encompassing-ness for as many of us as possible.
And despite the moniker I’ve chosen, grief is not only gloom. And so this will also not only be gloom. Thank you for joining us from wherever you are in your grief process.
This normally comes via email, but I’ve decided to post them here on my website as well. You can still subscribe, or check it out at the link above.
If you have a ‘something’ you think would fit within these pages, so to speak, please feel free to submit your ideas here.
Quick links for this issue:
Holiday Grief | Claire Bidwell Smith
https://claire-bidwell-smith.teachable.com/p/coping-with-loss-during-the-holiday-season-2023
The holidays are here and it can be a challenging time for anyone who is grieving—whether your loss is recent or occurred years ago, this time of year can bring up feelings of sadness, anxiety, and stress. Navigating complicated family dynamics, memories of years past, and current expectations can be overwhelming. Getting support through this season is important for all of us. Join therapist Claire Bidwell Smith and three of her colleagues to learn more about why the holidays are so hard, gain valuable coping tools, and share your loss with others who are grieving.
This virtual support program is open for anyone seeking grief support during the holiday season.
Join the Struggle Bus | Deep Space Mind 215
Join us on the Struggle Bus every Friday from 7-8pm on Discord to talk about ways to survive the winter time. http://bit.ly/dsm215bus
Here are some questions to think about in the mean time:
What are ways you process grief during the holiday season?
What is a tradition you've kept or want to start that would help with mental health during the winter?
Holiday Boundary Setting
What’s Your Grief
(click to see their whole post and to follow)
“I’d love to come by for dinner, but I can only stay for two hours.”
“Thank you so much for the invite. It sounds lovely, but I can’t make it. I’d still appreciate an invitation in the future, I’m just not up for it this year.”
“I’m going to drive separately in case I want to leave before you’re ready.”
People should honor and respect your holiday boundaries even when they don’t understand them.
Dr. Mekel
(click for her original post and to follow her work)
“I’d prefer not to attend.”
“This tradition / family ritual brings up a lot for me so I am going to pass.”
“Here’s a way I’d like to contribute / participate this year…”
“I need some space to be with my thoughts and feelings.”
“If I take a few minutes to myself, know that I’ll return when I’m ready.”
Grieve Well During the Holidays
December 5th and December 19th
https://www.grievewell.com/calendar/
In an ideal world, the holiday season is filled with family, friends, and festivities. But in the real world, we know that the holidays can be a painful time for those who are grieving the loss – recent or past – of a loved one. Join us for this interactive, one-hour, workshop to learn about grief and helpful tips for navigating grief during the holidays. As part of the workshop you will also make a written plan for managing grief during this challenging time of year.
Our program and this webinar is managed by Christy Miller, LMSW, ACSW. Christy is a licensed clinical social worker and has more than 20 years of experience as a psychotherapist for individuals, groups, and families. GrieveWell staff will be available to answer questions and provide additional resources during the webinar.
My momma used to say "always trust your lover"
Well, now I guess that only applies to her
'Cause baby, you promised me
Baby you promised me you'd never leave
Then you died on the twenty-fifth day of December
A Cup of Solace
Feeling exhausted by all the merriment and festivity surrounding you? Thinking it doesn't even feel like the holidays? If you're looking for a space where it's OK to not be OK, join This Hallowed Wildnerness on December 14 for this free virtual careshop offered through @weaversway.
Gift yourself a moment of pause to honor what's in your heart. Your grief is welcome here. Please bring a journal and pen. Register here: https://weaversway.coop/event/grieving-during-holidays-0
(We love love love love Naila and you cannot go wrong with any grief offering of hers.)
Holiday Mindfulness with Calm Mind Therapy
Gift Guide for Death Positive Folks
Nobody asked for it, but I did it anyway. They’re all things I simply like, no sponsorships involved. Check out some of my favorite death and grief positive gifts over on Instagram. If you have other suggestions for this, please holler.
If the shoe was on the other foot so to speak, you were the one who has passed away and your loved one is here. What would you want them to do? Would you want them to be miserable and depressed over the holidays? No, I don’t think so, you would want them to be happy, begin to put their life back together and enjoy this time of the year once again. So be still and listen to your heart, you’ll know what to do from there.
― Richard Kauffman, Grief and the Holidays: Surviving, coping, and living while grieving the loss of a loved one during the Christmas holiday season.
